Baby Reindeer - A Mature Look At Trauma
So. I had written a review of the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker, a docuseries on Netflix that details what happened surrounding the strange case of Caleb Lawrence McGillvary. It was an okay little retrospective on the series where I was mainly using the show as a jumping off point to talk about the opportunistic nature of true crime; many of the talking head interviews in the docuseries rubbed me the wrong way and it was obvious that people used a troubled young man for fame and fortune and profited quite nicely from the whole ordeal. When I saw that McGillvary himself - Kai the titular hitchhiker - had openly said Netflix were exploiting him for profit I decided against posting that article. The whole thing didn’t sit right with me. It was a boy who had been a victim of trauma being speculated about by people who didn’t know him while the facts were more of a footnote. So I have taken a hiatus from the chogg.blog. But I’m back, better than ever, with a recommendation for an eerie drama that tackles trauma and mental illness in a much more mature way. Baby Reindeer.
Baby Reindeer is a Netflix Original minseries, released in April of 2024 and written and acted by Richard Gadd. And it is really really good.
So, Richard Gadd plays a bartender with big dreams of becoming a massive comedian that everyone will recognise. He wants to be ‘the funny one, from that thing’. He puts little energy into this at the start; anyone with massive aspirations or an addiction to creativity will see themselves in Donny as he fails to make any changes or to evolve either himself or his dreams to get to somewhere happy.
The focal point of the show, though, comes from Martha, an older lady with a broad accent who seems larger than life with a piercing laugh, intense sudden familiarity and a bit of a crush on Donny. Things quickly get out of hand. Martha has been to jail before. She’s a violent stalker, obsessive to a dangerous level. And she is unwell.
This is tackled really well by Baby Reindeer. Every episode feels even-handed in making sure we as an audience know that Martha is scary, she is mentally ill and Donny is acting self-destructively. It is hard to root for him at times, and I could see some of his issues that were bleeding through before they were revealed which made it all fall into place. Now, go watch Baby Reindeer. Come back and read the rest of this when you don’t care about spoilers.
—SPOILER WARNING —
So Donny was raped. The scenes showing this, in the big-time writer's apartment are visceral and violent and vibrant. It is a real testament to Weronika Tofilska’s directing that at first, we feel uneasy and confused when drugs are introduced into the story, much like Donny himself, only to see Donny fall into a pit of repeated benders that obliterates what is left of his stability, his self-worth and his relationships.
His mentor, the writer of a fictional beloved series called Cotton Mouth, uses him when he is vulnerable. And Donny carries that forward. Into a whole lot of shame with his sexuality and a reckless abandon that puts him in danger again and again. It makes sense that this older woman, who claims to have authority over everyone because she’s a lawyer and friends with David Cameron, don’t you know, would have an impact on Donny. He lets things progress, even putting himself in harm's way out of curiosity and a sense that he has to push on to work this woman out. The obsessive pinboards on his walls in the final episode serve to show just how unhinged he is. It makes us call into question Martha’s perception of the whole ordeal. She saw the whole thing as a passionate relationship, and her constant emails and arrivals near Donny were just her showing her care.
When Martha sexually assaults Donny the trauma he carries with him comes full circle. It becomes physical again and again it messes with his sexuality and his whole consciousness. It is a recorded fact that victims of abuse will fall into the same cycles - people from horrific relationships will seek out people that will hurt them again in the same ways. Donny encourages Martha just enough for him to feel innocent, but just enough that when he is attacked he can blame himself in the same way he did with the evil writer.
It all feels very grown-up. Richard Gadd based the whole piece on his personal experience with a stalker and the parts of Donny’s identity that Martha’s presence throws into question are uncomfortable. Things that are never shown on screen. Donny begins to fantasise about Martha, he begins to wait to see her. He almost misses her. For some viewers it could make Donny an unlikable protagonist but to some extent that is the whole point. He is not a perfect man, not a blank slate. He comes with a history that impacts every decision he makes. When he goes on stage it is always the critical eye of the man who was supposed to help make his career that he is trying to appease, even if the writer is only there in his subconscious.
Donny’s romance with a trans-woman, Terri, is supremely well-written too. He is confused by his feelings, and cannot define his sexuality but he is in love with Terri. She gives him chances after he lies to her and they have real chemistry. But he is perpetuating his own victimhood with Martha, at the expense of everyone around him and Terri moves on, leaving Donny to his obsessive quest to destroy himself. And that is what is happening. There’s a reason that the only time we see current Donny taking any drugs is a line of cocaine before a date with Terri. There’s a reason he steps off the train when Terri tries to take him home. He is not well.
So Donny and Martha have a connection. They are both disturbed for one reason or another. Martha can see this in Donny, when no one else can. And Donny can see this in Martha when it seems like no one else will.
Donny gets attacked and injured badly by Martha but, at the request of his friends and employers at the pub, he carries on like nothing has happened. Martha continues when she sees Donny as if the emails and the threats and the chaos of their relationship has no bearing on where they are here and now.
The difference is apparent when Donny lets it all go. First on stage, reflecting the unhealthy obsession he has with comedy brought about by his abuser. Then to his parents in a heart-breaking scene. If Donny’s father had reacted poorly I am certain that Donny would have done something drastic. But they give him nothing but support. He stays with them to realign himself and his dad waves him off with wholehearted - if a little heavy-handed - support for his relationship with Terri. They love him and are willing to hear him out and be there for him. Martha doesn’t have that. She pleads guilty, in the end, and the final message is not one from Donny but a monologuing voicemail from Martha herself. It is a bold statement from Gadd, evoking sympathy for a woman who sexually assaulted him, attacked him and assaulted his girlfriend. However, it is a clear message that people often need help. Donny gets that chance, and even still signs himself up to work under his rapist as a writer. Some cycles can’t be broken. There is positivity, though, in acknowledging them and moving on. And if Donny is a stand-in for Gadd given that it is based on a true story from his life, then Gadd surpasses his sexual abuse and lets any other survivors know that there is hope and support around you no matter what has happened. You can shine, and you can achieve your dreams. As soon as you stop hating yourself.